Spending time with my twins individually
Something I’ve always struggled with as a twin parent, is spending time with my twins individually. For the first two years of their lives, it was just me looking after them most of the time, and with no access to childcare, I had no chance of ever getting any precious one on one time.
Over the past months since my husband has made the transition to being a stay at home dad, the opportunities for one on one time have slowly started showing themselves. Sometimes it’s just a snatched few moments here and there, and it’s still a difficult thing to navigate, but it’s definitely easier than it was six months ago.
This week, I have had the absolute joy of being able to spend a little extended time with each twin on their own, and in doing this I have truly appreciated the importance of doing so. Being able to pour my attention into one child is amazing, and being able to wholeheartedly focus on them alone has been so important for bonding.
I’m sure other twin parents will have experienced something similar, but when taking twin toddlers out for a walk in the park (or something similar), I can’t just get them both out to toddle about. They go in opposite directions, get tangled up if they have reins on, and I can’t hold their hands and push the buggy at the same time. All of this makes practising things like walking outside and hand holding more complicated than I imagine it is for parents of singletons. Having a little solo time with a twin has proved to be a great way of managing to do these things that I just cannot do with both of them when I’m by myself.
This week I walked my daughter home alone from nursery, and it was one of the most joyous experiences I’ve had with her to date. Something as simple as a half an hour walk meant that we got lots of time to walk and hold hands together, we chatted the whole way (well, I chatted and she babbled back to me), and I was able to watch her little face light up when we saw birds, squirrels, and piles of golden leaves. I was able to let her lead the way as we walked through the park, and loved how she led us directly to big piles of leaves to stomp through.
I was able to have a similar experience with my son when he and I visited the park at night to have a look at the local lamplighter festival. Together we were able to explore the colourful lanterns adorning the park, we could hold hands and have a wonderful bonding experience.
To any other parents of twins and multiples experiencing something similar, I really would encourage you to seek out moments where you can have some one on one time with your children – even a few minutes here and there is amazing for bonding!